I'm going crazy!

I'm so doing a number on myself right now. I took off last week because I was so tired and really sore after my very intensive chiro and massage treatment. (walking to work hurt). So Sunday Alex and I get on our cross bikes to do a 15/3 double brick on the road at our cottage. It's very very hilly, twisty and alternates between pavement, gravel and dirt.(we bought the crosses for such places). Well, this is a workout that we've been doing last summer and this and it's tough with the terrain and surface but it felt just not like the breeze I thought it would be. So now I"m freaking out about my fitness, I feel I've lost it all and cutting back on taper workouts was a big mistake.

I'm telling myself that at 45 I need some recovery time, and that last year I ended up having to take 2 full weeks off before Muskoka 70.3 and felt incredible going into the race so, intellectually, I though time off was a good idea.

Now I'm at home with a pain in my gut and aimlessly watching tv trying, I think, to avoid thinking about the race. I've had to start using my asthma inhaler which is weird since my trigger is respiratory infections and second hand smoke. No cold right now and haven't been hanging around smoky bars so I think that stress is triggering some breathing difficulties.

I think I'm also getting crazy with all the extra stuff that I was so excited about. There is a couple of women doing the race with us and their families and friends are coming, I want to have some time to meet you all and it's all so up in the air - gugh, I must be some kind of massive control freak to worry about how it will all work. I'm at the Fairmont, how can it not be perfect.